I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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