i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize