Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
