dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
