I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
