the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
