hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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