wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
