some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
