It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
