that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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