So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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