We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
