we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize