Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
