I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
