No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
