Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
