Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
