After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
