it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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