Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
