Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
