I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
