The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
