we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
