Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize