you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
