I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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