Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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