goodnight i made you a song goodbye
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she peed on how many people?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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