let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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