Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize