I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
