What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
