In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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