youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
