The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
