That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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