And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
