if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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