When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
