Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My pussy is not your playground.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
