Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
