Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love having hate sex.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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