Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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