My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
