i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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