I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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