woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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