3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
