Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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