we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
