i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize