Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
