Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
