And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
