just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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