her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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