They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is the high leading the old right now
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
