He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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