Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
