she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
