So drunk its hurt
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
