somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
